My doppelganger prepares to conquer the John Muir Trail

Believe it or not, but another Dan White is about to hike the mighty trail.

Stay tuned. I'll tell you all about this striking coincidence after the holidays.

Scary morning: Smoke and Fire in the Haight

To evacuate or not to evacuate? That's what I wondered at 445 a.m. as the smell of smoke wafted through my living room. I opened up the blinds and saw fire and smoke, and it looked awfully close to my apartment. Then I heard the choppers, crowd noise and fire engines honking. A big black cloud rose over the Upper Haight. The fire burned Tikka Masala and scorched part of Villains, which is part of my weekly neighborhood stroll. Fortunately, no one was injured but seven people were displaced.
A scary situation -- and it could have been a lot worse.

Bookshop Santa Cruz gives away free nuts with Sarah Palin's memoir. (read all about it right here.)

Here is some breaking bookshop news.

Bookshop Santa Cruz -- the same bookshop that sold Rush Limbaugh's See I Told You So for the price of baloney (per pound) in 1993, is now offering a "free bag of nutz'' with each copy it sells of Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue. Bookshop staff say a bag of Sarah Palin's Just Plain Nutz is also available for $3.98 to those who have the munchies but don't necessarily want the memoir.

Read all about it right here.

You might remember that this bookstore also handed out commemorative air sickness bags for each copy of a Newt Gingrich book.

If you look carefully at the bag of nuts on the web site, you will see that each plastic bag has Sarah Palin's face on it.

It's Never Too Late For Art

The Times ran this inspiring story about Carmen Herrera on Sunday.

Plop!

Last week I saw some dummy try to steal a unicycle -- by riding off on it!

He made it about 15 feet before crashing into a post.

One-stop shopping: The Cactus Eaters stories, reviews and web links

This blog doesn't have any easy-to-find entry that includes related stories, podcasts, reviews and weblinks so here goes. Until now. Here is a clearinghouse, with items in no particular order.

Susan Salter Reynolds, Los Angeles Times. Boston Globe. Salon. Brave New Traveler. The Oregonian. Nextbook. Publisher's Weekly. Pearl's Picks. Lisa Haneberg interview. Good Food with Evan Kleiman. Writer's Block podcast, Operation Water Dump. Denny Smithson, Cover to Cover, Berkeley KPFA. Etude: New Voices in Literary Nonfiction. Mary Magazine with Jillian Kurvers. Synchronized Chaos,National Geographic. Camino Santiago. The Retiring Librarian., and last but not least, Leafing Through Life.

Embittered store manager seeks cashier

My neighborhood has a fashion boutique that is often empty. I avoid going in there because they sell punk rock lace-up boots that would look very silly on me if I ever put them on. But the other day I noticed a bitter, profanity-laced (and unintentionally hilarious!) help wanted sign in the window.

By the time I showed up with my pen and my blogging notebook, someone had taken the sign down. This is my best effort at a 'total recall' version.

"The store is looking for a cashier. If you apply, be professional about it. Don't just take a crumpled-up wad of paper out of your pocket and hand it to me! That kind of thing will get you nowhere in life. And no, we do NOT have application forms. Also, be aware of the fact that we deal with a lot of freaks, losers, druggies, weirdoes who smell like (EXPLETIVE) and (EXPLETIVES) who we are always asking to move along. Also, the days can be quite long, and, sometimes, very boring.

Think you can handle it??''

The Cactus Eaters: now available in paperback and on Kindle

The book is also available in liquid form.

Action figures, coloring book, cookbook and cactus-flavored breakfast cereals are still in development.

Yelling at books

One of you emailed me a funny story about seeing someone reading my book in public and, every so often, turning the book around and shouting questions and comments at my author's photo. I found this story inspiring because it suggests that physical copies of books might have a future. With digital book readers, you can't scream at the author's photo or throw the book against the wall.

And thank you to each and every one of you who has interacted in my book in a deeply physical way, even if you wound up flinging it out of a window, pelting people with advanced-review copies, using it for kindling, etc. Long live books unplugged!

Blogging is good for you

Someone forwarded me this interesting article from the BBC network, suggesting that young students who blog are better writers.

Barbershop series returns with authors, endless cupcakes and beer

For five dollars, you get brews, authors, and enough sweets to choke a donkey.

I would get there early if I were you.

The fun begins this Saturday at 8.

Elyssa East and the mysteries of Dogtown

I'm eager to read the newly released book by nonfiction writer Elyssa East (enthusiastically reviewed by Joyce Carol Oates.)

Free podcasts, new books

If you're not aware of the Writer's Block, it is a highly addictive SF-based lit website that includes broadcasts of authors reading their own works. Here is Stephen Elliott reading part of his new one, The Adderall Diaries

How to write a great novel

I found this thoroughly enjoyable WSJ article on the Koreanish blog.

I got a big kick out of this, considering that a small portion of the first draft of my first book consisted of emails that I sent to myself over and over again while writing at a workstation that forced me to stand up.

For some reason, there were no chairs in the workstation; I think someone stole them.

Fighting back against vandals who can't spell

Some dummy put an ugly tag on one of my favorite local murals last night.

Under cloak of darkness, the person wrote "Kil All Human'' on the corner of the mural. This surprised me. Since our local murals are beautiful examples of 'street art,' why would anyone want to wreck that?

Anyhow, when I saw this, I borrowed a cloth from a passerby and removed the ugly tag, which (thank goodness) was written in chalk, not paint.

Gotcha!

Free pile of junky, waterlogged books

My free book luck has run out.

Near my apartment, someone left a disgusting pile of waterlogged books with suspicious stains all over them.

I was afraid to throw them in the trash (that's bad karma) so I put them in front of someone else's apartment instead. I think one of the books was Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Cheap thrills for book lovers, part XXXV: Helene Wecker, Holly Payne, Megan Kelly and Jim Provenzano

Get there early on December 5 if you want to kick back in one of the comfy barber chairs. (Yes, this reading series takes place in an actual barbershop. Not kidding.)

Thanks for the free books!

Someone left a free stash of really good, mint-condition books right outside my apartment, and the strange thing is, they were books I was planning to read anyhow: Haruki Murakami, After The Quake, James Baldwin, Another Country, Brett Easton Ellis, American Psycho. Aside from this, they left me a really nice journal and a couple of promising DVD's. I guess they fled town in a hurry.

Staunchly refusing to sell dumb products on my blog

The following people or companies have approached me, asking me to advertise their silly and/or reprehensible products on my blog:

1. A company that sells smelly foot ointment (a lotion for people with very smelly feet)
2. A company that sells inserts for footwear
3. A major car company
4. Someone claiming to represent tobacco interests
5. A company that sells lotions for people with cracking and smelly feet.
6. A company that wants to pay me an honorarium to give positive reviews for their silly, disreputable-sounding products.

My answer to all of these companies is a loud and resounding "NO!'' And please, no more queries from people selling foot-related products of any kind.

Winners of the National Book Award

Congratulations to SF's own TJ Stiles for winning the nonfiction prize.